Ramblings of a Pee-er

This is the lovely offspring that arises from the boredom of
sitting for an hour and a half in English class,
While listening to students' monotonous voices drone on and on the words of
Hamlet and King Claudius and etcetera, etcetera.

I, personally, think it is a much better version.

To pee, or not to pee? That is the question--
Whether tis nobler in the chair to urinate
When and where thou hast outrageously sat
Or to take arms against a sea of toilet water
And by opposing, yellow them? To wait, to pee--
No more-- and by a pee to say we end
The bladderache and the thousand natural shocks
That pee is heir to-- 'tis a relieving
Devoutly to be wished! To pee, to relieve.
To relieve, perchance to poo, too-- ay, there's the rub,
For in that poo with pee, Oh, what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off these mortal turds
Must give us pause.

-The mixed minds of Shakespeare and Me.

(Me's my name)
Just call me Me.
Me Wee.
Get it?

A Fool's GoodBye I Leave To You